Our Faults Should Make Us Better
Our past faults should not define us, instead these should build us up to become better. I know this for a fact, I am a product of my many mistakes, and I know that I am a better person for it.
But before I proceed, just a quick disclaimer: we did it when no one was there, at night, so there was no intention to hurt anyone.
It was meant to be an act of defiance, a misplaced one at that. Yes it was foolish, and yes we paid for it, in more ways than one.Why did we do it? Long story short, we were boys who wanted to accelerate our manhood. We thought we were being cool, but we were really just being reckless and we didn't know any better.
How did we do it? That is a story best told over bottles of beer, not here.
We almost got away with it too, but we learned early in life that there is no such thing as a perfect crime. That eventually, the truth comes out, one way or another. In our case, through 'divine intervention' (again, another story best told over beers).
God has His ways, we realized that early. We were fortunate to have learned that lesson at a young age. If the truth didn't come out and if we got away with it, who knows what other misdeeds we could have done. So it was a good thing that at a young age, we already had our taste of a "pseudo judicial system" and of an outcome that was not in our favor. This experience alone probably saved us (and our parents) from more serious legal offenses.
Whatever fantasy we might have had of a gangstah life ended before it even began. But no matter how foolish and shameful that experience might have been, I always looked at it as a character building moment in our lives. I am not necessarily proud of what we did, but I take pride in what it did to us and how it impacted our adulting.
Growing a conscience
Many of our teachers then, felt we got away easy, that the punishment we received was a slap on the wrist. Truth be told, it probably was. But if there was one thing I realized, it was this: one need not suffer gravely to have an epiphany.
The gravity of the punishment does not always drive home the lesson people need to learn. Often, the realization of one's mistake and knowing you let many important people down is enough to grow a conscience. Fortunately, growing a conscience at that stage of my life prevented me from doing other foolish things especially when I was in college. As colorful as my life was during my five years of University, believe it or not, for most part, it was calculated.
That experience taught me to steer clear of exploits where there could be repercussion that might bring my parents and family anguish. I learned to avoid acts where I knew there could be serious consequences. Mind you, I still did a lot of crazy things, I was young and wild after all, but in most cases, these were carefully considered.
This experience taught me risk management and scenario planning. Important competencies that have been very useful throughout my career and adult life.
Doing wrong vs doing right
In truth, doing wrong sometimes seems inevitable, because it is often easier to do the wrong thing than the right one. Not knowing what is wrong from right is never the problem. The difficulty lies in the ease by which a wrongdoing presents itself. Often, it can be too tempting to pass up.
Being human, ultimately, can be our biggest flaw. Freewill is both a gift and a curse. How we use it can be a tough choice. Choose wisely by seeking guidance. Prayer and asking for advice helps.
More than anything, what that experience taught me was righting a wrong was hard and owning up to your faults was harder. Acknowledging that you did wrong and having to face your truth is not easy. But you have to do it, no matter how difficult it might be. This is essential in order to move on and to recalibrate. You need to do it to become a better version of yourself.
Accepting the wrong that you committed is essential. You don't need to do it publicly, because ultimately this is an internal struggle and a personal realization. In the end, you only answer to yourself and your divine Creator.
You owe it to yourself to take responsibility for what you did. So that you learn from it. So that you grow from it. So you can make the necessary adjustments in yourself, in your life, in your world. This is important for you and the people you care about.
Prove people wrong
Every time you make a mistake, expect people's judgment. Humans are predisposed to be unforgiving and judgmental, especially to those who did wrong. Don't take it personally. Frankly speaking, we are all guilty of this.
Don't let other people's judgment and prejudice bring you down, instead learn to draw strength from these and prove people wrong. The moment you feel hate and become vindictive, you will be proving them right. So, always focus on proving them wrong.
Take the path less travelled, learn to be forgiving, strive to be understanding of others. Especially those who do not understand you.
What we became
After this grave mistake, there were people who thought we would end up as failures. Some of our teachers thought we would not amount to anything and that we were incorrigible. I do not blame them for thinking this.
People often find it difficult to give second chances. A sinner will always be a sinner, until we ourselves sin and are judged. We must all learn humility. We must all yearn to be like Christ was to those who crucified Him.
I am proud to say that we all turned out all right. None of us had any bouts with the legal system after that episode in high shool. We were never incorrigible. We are flawed, yes, but we changed and we continue to try to be better. We each followed our own passions and interests. We all became professionals. We are all treading through life as best as we can, like everyone else. Unaffected by our past fault, better persons for the lessons this experience imprinted on us.
Most importantly, we remain forever grateful for the love and support of our parents, family and friends; and for the grace and forgiveness of our Creator.
Our fault made us better. But our metamorphosis is far from over. For what is life, but a never ending process of becoming better, until our final judgment comes.
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1/ This incident happened on the 11th of January 1991. We were in 3rd year high school.
2/ We used leftover firecrackers from new years to build a homemade bomb. It was strong enough to shatter the glass windows of the faculty room and leave large cracks on the concrete walls.
3/ Most of us were sanctioned with 30-day suspensions, after an ardous legal process the went as high as the Office of the UPLB Chancellor.
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